Guilt-less Desserts & Treats for your Family
There’s a few things about child birth and raising kids that you don’t find in parenting books. And it’s probably for a good reason too, because I’m sure if people knew all the gory details then they might think twice.
I considered writing a ‘real parenting’ book but I realised I was too busy washing dirty nappies, debating with my 4yo about the meaning of life (in relation to marvel comics) and vacuuming… always vacuuming. So instead here is my readers digest, bullet point version.
You’ll be tired… all the time.
Some days I want to wear a t-shirt that says “I’m not stupid, just sleep deprived”.
Conversations with other adults become harder.
When you spend most of your days singing nursery rhymes or talking in riddles making the transition to adult words (i.e. no poopy farty pants) can be hard. Just remember it’s not appropriate to call a work colleague “your special little sweetie bum” or refer to your lunch as “din dins” when ordering at a restaurant.
Child birth is not pretty.
Sure, it’s an amazing experience and the reward far outweighs the pain but still… it ain’t a pretty sight. There’s a good chance you’ll vomit, poo and wet your pants. Of course then there’s the fact that your ‘special bits’ are on display for all to see… and by all I mean everyone. Interns, Doctors, Midwives and, if you’re ‘lucky’, you’ll end up with a specialist between your legs as well.
Your clothes will be stained.
Forget about wearing your favourite lace top again after its had baby sick over the shoulder and wee down the front. As they get older the stains will become more orange and green from thrown purée… which are much harder to soak out.
Pony tails and hats replace straighteners and curlers.
Some days you’ll be pressed just to find time to have a shower, or remember to use deodorant, let alone make your hair shiny. Caps, berets and beanies make for good coverage of your dirty locks. They can also help to hide the fact that you haven’t had time to get to the hairdresser since your pelvic floor was obliterated.
Whilst you will always love your children, some days you plain just don’t like them!
Kids, just like adults, will do things that will really annoy you. Some days they’ll make you so mad, other days they’ll be rude and mean… to you. You wouldn’t like a friend or colleague who treated you that way, and it’s ok to not like your child in that instant too. Just know that despite the fact that they put your phone in the toilet/drew over the wall with your new lipstick/broke your expensive headphones etc you will always love them… but sometimes a mummy just needs 5 minutes by herself to like her kids again.
Now that I’ve shared with you my insights to parenting chaos, let’s go one step further and talk about boobs (we’re all friends here aren’t we?!). When you have a baby, your boobs are no longer your property. You won’t even recognise the watermelons on your chest to begin with and, whether you choose to breast feed or not, your boobs will never be the same again. I was lucky enough to be able to breast feed my babies without too many hassles, but this is not the case for all mums. The most important thing is that both mum and baby are healthy, however that needs to happen.
These Gluten Free Chocolate Lactation Cookies may be able to serve two purposes for a new mum; they will satisfy their unending hunger and may help to promote breast milk production. There are lots of recipes for Lactation Cookies (you can read more about why they may work here) but finding Gluten Free ones are difficult as many of the milk promoting ingredients also contain gluten (e.g. Brewer’s Yeast and Oats). A while back I developed these Gluten Free Lactation Cookies for my sister in-law and decided that a chocolate version was also required (because who doesn’t love chocolate cookies?!). They are made with Gluten Free and Dairy Free ingredients, and have added nuts and seeds to provide extra nutrition. Regardless of their potential nutritional benefits they are a darn tasty cookie!!
So, if you’re a parent what would your chapter be about in my ‘Real Parenting Book’?
If you’re not, has this served as contraception?
- 1/2 Cup Softened Coconut Oil
- 1/2 Cup Coconut Sugar (or raw/brown sugar)
- 2 Eggs
- 2 teaspoons Vanilla Extract
- 1/3 Cup Cocoa
- 1/2 Cup Quinoa Flour
- 1/2 Cup LSA (ground linseeds, almonds and sunflower seeds)
- 1/2 Cup Arrowroot
- 1/2 teaspoons Cream of Tartar
- 1 teaspoon Bicarbonate
- Pinch of Salt
- 1/3 Cup Pumpkin Seeds
- 100 grams Chocolate Chips
- Place the coconut oil and sugar in the bowl of a kitchen stand mixer and beat until combined. Add the eggs and vanilla and beat until combined and a bit fluffy.
- Add the dry ingredients (except the desiccated coconut and pumpkin seeds) and beat until combined. Stop and scrap down the sides of the bowl to ensure all the mixture is combined.
- Add the desiccated coconut and pumpkin seeds and beat in gently.
- (Alternatively these steps can be done by hand in a large bowl or in a blender).
- Put the mixture in the fridge for 30 minutes and preheat the oven to 180C/360F.
- Line and grease 2 trays. The mixture will make approx. 16 cookies and they spread while cooking so you don't want to put them too close together.
- Take 1 heaped tablespoon of mixture and roll it into a ball and then place on the lined tray. DO NOT flatten the cookies, as they will spread themselves.
- Bake in the oven for 13-15 minutes, or until golden around the edges. Repeat with the remaining cookie dough on the other trays. Return the mixture to the fridge if not baking immediately.
- Allow to cool on the tray before storing in an airtight container.